I took a trip to Kenya & Tanzania with my Dad in 2009. He had been to Africa as a 20-year-old sailor in 1961. I always loved his Capetown and Dakar stories and I jumped on this chance for us to join a group tour with a lot of retired and active teachers.
Since Dad never fit the mold or danced to the basic drum beat we decided to stay in the tent camp one afternoon when the whole entourage was departing on a sightseeing trip. We had enjoyed those outings, but we needed to sit, rest and just observe. We sat near our “glamping” tent and watched a Maasai man in his bright red traditional garb, casually riding by on a bicycle with a cell phone to one ear. After he passed, a giraffe lumbered past going the opposite way on the same trail. A few minutes later a determined looking child wearing a school uniform walked by with their knapsack.
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We decided to walk around the camp and, as usual, my Dad struck up a conversation with a stranger. Anyone watching them talk would be sure the two were lifetime friends. The young woman worked at the resort and Dad asked her about her educational interests and so much more. Somehow they got on the subject of women’s rights. He listened to her concerns about equality and opportunity. Dad told her the good, the bad and the ugly of what he had seen play out in America. He challenged her to crash every ceiling, He invited her to come crash ours in America. He connected. He inspired…and not just her.
Durwood Porter Avery is a man that loves humanity. He is a man of science. A man of philosophy. A student of politics and economics. He has devoured every bit of information and debate about paleoanthropology. He got that from his Dad. He ran track in high school. He played football. He reignited his love for running at age 41 and ran a marathon, half-marathons, 5Ks, 10Ks and dozens of triathlons for several decades. I asked him yesterday what technique he used to block out fatigue, pain, heat and cold. As soon as I asked I already knew what he would say. “I never thought about those things.” That’s not a brag. That is 100% true. I’ve never seen someone with such an ability to focus on what is important and block out the rest. He’s the most optimistic person I’ve ever come across.
Dad hasn't been running lately. He’s 85 and we learned about his cancer almost two years ago when it was at Stage 4. Did he complain? Nope. Worry. Nope. Well maybe a little, but he only let my mom see that. Did he do his research? Yep. Did he try everything innovative he possibly could– absolutely. He said he was happy yesterday. Twice. He’s in hospice. He has run this race like the champion he has always been.. He has inspired many others who saw him biking in the brutal heat and humidity from Fort Meade, Florida out to all points of the compass. He probably swam with plenty of alligators in lakes all over Polk County. He ran a life that anyone would be proud of. Of all the Dad’s in the history of the world, I got the one that I needed the most.
A life of kindness.
Of courage.
Of curiosity.
Of love.
I love you Dad.
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